oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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