Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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