I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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