drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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