mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We left the knife in your bed.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
