I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
