Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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