the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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