I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
