If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
