i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
