It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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