its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
