so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
