I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
