what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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