I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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