Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
