Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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