Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My vagina is very pro this idea
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
