Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
