Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
