He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
