If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
