I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
