Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
