Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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