just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
