would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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