dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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