hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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