how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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