Tell her she can't have a vagina
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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