dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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