Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
