We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
