Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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