Whod you bang
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
