I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
