how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
