Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
