i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize