Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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