Where did you get a picture of my penis
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
mondays should just be called national damage control day
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
