My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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