You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
