If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
