What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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