Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
