dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
