Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She's the barista slut.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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