Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
