Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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