okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
