we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
